Things I Have Overheard My Boyfriend Say Out Loud to Himself While Playing Video Games, Part II

While playing Euro Truck Simulator 2, in which he is a truck driver making deliveries:

  • I’m delivering cheese safe and sound according to the law.

  • Why would I not want my side view mirrors on, am I a monster??

  • (Sips beer) I’m drinking on the job.

  • He cut me off! I’m bigger than him! I could have hurt somebody!

  • I got a speeding ticket again! For $200… this job’s costing me more than it’s worth!

  • (Asks Siri): How do I know the speed limit in Euro Truck Simulator 2?

  • I’m making great time!

  • Let’s play it safe, let’s just back that ass straight up.

  • Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, shut the fuck up.

While playing Fortnite:

  • I hit him twice, three times a lady!

  • Oh, I am getting exponentially better at this game! Don’t play like a dingus is the number one rule.

  • Don’t fuck with me, I’m an astronaut for now, boys… oh this is gonna be bad news.

  • Kate, these guys are jerks!

  • I’ll take that! Or you will, go ahead!

  • So I can kick the soccer ball but I can’t shoot the soccer ball. Are they trying to tell me something?

  • Oh thank you for being so generous, fuckface.

  • I have no ammo, nothin, just jumpin in a dream!

  • I’m ready to fuck shit up space style!

  • Did I just get one shot?! I’m not down with that.

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Things I Have Overhead My Boyfriend Saying Out Loud to Himself While Playing Video Games

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